Two years ago today I woke up on a Sunday morning to a phone call from my sister that said, "Sha, you know how Mom was sick...? Well, she died!"  For days and weeks I replayed that conversation in my head.  I couldn't get it out of my head, especially every time I lied down in my bed in the place where I found out that news.  Later, I thought about it less frequently, and then I would think about it every Sunday morning............

...........Now,  I can't believe it's been two years.  At that time the boys were 2 years old and 8 months old and Jeremy was in his 1st year of residency.  I don't know how I could have gotten through this if I didn't have a relationship with Christ Jesus.  He has filled me with His peace and His comfort.  It has been nothing that I've done on my own.  Sure, I have wondered 'why' many times, but my 'whys' and wonder have drawn me closer to Him thru being in His word in a women's bible study.  Although I wish He could have brought me closer to Him another way, I'm thankful He was able to use this experience in a positive way.  We still talk about Nana all the time to the boys.  Just this week Garrett brought a flower inside and told me he wanted to save it to put it on Nana's grave the next time we went home!  I wish Graham could remember her, but we have so many good things to teach him about his Nana.

Although God takes away, thankfully He gives, too.  He has brought my dad a beautiful wife (on the inside and outside), named Linda.  No, she doesn't replace my mom, but she has become my friend, and she has become "Mimi" to our boys.  She is a companion for my dad who makes him happy and takes care of him.  I prayed for God to send her for a long time.  I didn't want my dad to be lonely the rest of his life. They are so happy together, and my dad deserves that again.

I write all of this to tell you what God has done IN me.  His comfort has been unbelievable!  He brings me comfort in so many different ways.  I usually have a dream about my mom every month or so.  Just a few weeks ago I dreamt that she was sitting in a chair, and I knelt down beside her. She told me how happy she is, and I asked her, "But why is it sad sometimes?"  And she told me, "But I see everything that is going on with y'all!"  I do believe that she sees and knows what is going on with us.  My greatest comfort is knowing where she is.  It has changed my view of heaven and of worship.  I have said many times in the past, "I don't know what I would do if I lost ________." You've probably said it before, too, and filled in the blank with someone's name close to you.  I never would have thought that I could still have peace and joy after losing someone dear to my heart.  However, I choose to trust God completely that He has purpose in ALL His plans, even when I don't understand!